Why are web browsers so butt ugly?

Here’s part of my History menu in Safari:

It’s like someone sneezed page title snot all over the damn place. I reserve seven kinds of hatred for when I have to use this menu.

Here’s how I’d like to look at my browsing history (click for large version):

I had a look through some of the popular browsers to see how close they get to my ideal. Some of them have some of these features. None of them avoids looking like it got dragged through a bush backwards.

At least Firefox’s bookmarks window lets you play Mario:

Though I might be wrong there.